April 14, 2005
Stretch Mark Dreams
And a few nights before that I had a dream that I woke up COVERED in stretch marks. Have I ever told you guys how deathly afraid of stretch marks I am? I check my body at least 25 times a day and have purchased every single cream, lotion, gel, and ointment out there that claims to prevent them even if it's OBVIOUSLY bullshit. And I have managed to avoid them thus far, thank all that is holy. But in my dream I woke up with them on every square inch of my body - even my hands, feet, and face. It was the worst nightmare ever.
Which dream was worse - Simon or the stretch marks?
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